Chapter 4, I have learned...

(Original Posting Date 12/18/11)
Chapter 4, a dedication to my boys who are my life & my entertainment!

In my short life span, I have learned so much. I have made mistakes.  I have too many regrets.  I have seen things, done things, and spoken words I wish I could just forget and take back, along with every stone that I have tossed. I have fell flat on my face more times than I can count. But, as stubborn as I am, (that's a Curtiss trait...Don't touch it!) I have always gotten back up!  However, if there is one super power I could have as a mother, it would be to spare my boys from making the mistakes I have made. Unfortunately that can’t be done and so all I can do is write what I have to say, and pray that they (somehow) listen! And so…

To my boys,
Mom is proof that every broken heart can be mended.  And although some wounds will never heal, YOU have more strength then you will ever give yourself credit for.  I know that at times mom seems unfair & mean, but the truth is, the day you were born is the day I dedicated my life to you & promised myself I would never let you make my mistakes.  I promised I would give you all your wants and needs. I never wanted to see you hurt or in pain. And as much as I tried to invent that perfect little bubble to protect you when I wasn't around; it just couldn't be done. Dylan, my little klutz, we both know you needed that bubble!!

To build the strength you will need to carry you throughout your life, you have to experience heartache.  Understand it and accept it.  You have to fall before you can get back up.  And mom will always be there to help you, guide you and give you the best advice I can!  

And so, even though mom loves to read poems and inspirational stories, I was never really good at writing them! But, here is poem #2 that mom has ever wrote. These are the things mom has learned and someday you will have your own list of the things you have learned- no matter how much I try to protect you!

Growing up, I have learned, to never hide your happiness just because your friends may be going through a rough time.  I have learned, to tell the differences between a “best friend” and just a “friend”.  I have learned, you should never have to fight for a friendship that you thought was once there.  I have learned, life will take you in different directions and when it doesn’t include you, you will find out that clearly, you were only in their life for one reason!  I have learned that true friendships really are forever.  I have learned, the friends you love the most will be the first to hurt you.  I have learned, happy moments always begin with smiles, but will end with a tear.

I have learned, if you let it fly & it comes back, it truly is yours to keep. I have learned, you will be told more lies then the truth, and every heartache will hurt worst then the last one. Truth is, we just forget how much it hurts until we experience another heartache.  I have learned, that time doesn’t heal all wounds; time just teaches us to live without.  I have learned that once a child loses a parent you will dread the father/daughter mother/son dance at every wedding you attend.  I have learned, goodbyes truly are forever. I have learned the past, regrets, and mistakes do not define a person. I have learned, it’s never too late to spread your wings and fly and when that time comes, never be afraid. I have learned, to always live on a wing & a prayer. I have learned while slacking off in high school may carry you to the end, slacking off in college however, does not carry you.  I have learned the fastest debt you will obtain is college loans.  I have learned, on an ordinary day, life can be extraordinary. I have learned, the future will always be unclear and infinite no matter how much time we spend chasing our dreams.
I have learned, there is only once chance at being a parent. I have learned that we are the ones to mold our children. Therefore, if I want my children to succeed, I have to succeed myself! I have learned, we will spend the next eighteen years building our children’s wings but, never truly want them to fly when the time comes.  I have learned, children really do tell the truth even at the moments you don’t want to hear it.  I have learned that match box cars can be shoved in every nook and corner and building blocks will never be flushable. I have learned that crayons do not look like the colors of the rainbow in the washing machine midway through its cycle.  I have learned despite what the directions say on a new toy, mom is doing it wrong!  I have learned that silence never has a good outcome with a toddler.  I have learned a toddler in a walker against a cockatiel, is a sure sign the cockatiel will lose all tail feathers.  I have learned that “not me” is an imaginary friend who will show up every time to try to save your child.  I have learned adult conversations are truly needed two-three times a day.  I have learned to never argue with a six year old.  There is just no winning with a six year old and by the age of nine they have already developed your stubbornness, and you won’t win that argument either.  I have learned, that”no,” “maybe,” “I don’t know,” and “we’ll see,” actually means to ask again in five minutes. I have learned that after having children, you are guaranteed free hugs and kisses for life.

I have learned, to always expect the unexpected. I have learned you are only “in love” once in your life, all the other times you “claim” you were “in love” will never compare to one time when you truly fall in love. And if you disagree, you have yet to be “in love”. I have learned that we write our lives in pencil but always seem to write our love stories in ink and we will have more sub-titles about love, rejection, and heart aches than any other chapters in our lives.  I have learned, that time cannot be erased.  The pain will always be there, and as long as you are still in the chapters in your life that leave you unhappy, the wounds will never heal. I have learned that love cannot be forced.  I have learned, you will always be told “the strong stay.”  Well, from my journey I disagree.  I believe, it takes more strength to walk away and it’s the weak that stay.  I have learned, to never be afraid to love again after you have lost all hope. I have learned that a “perfect day” truly does exist.
Xo, Kiki;

Karen is the owner of Boutique Marketing Studio & blog owner of My Life, Your Entertainment. “My life, Your Entertainment,” is a real-life, non-sugarcoating blog by yours truly! I am a mother of two teenage boys (Lord, I know you love me). I am a pilot bride who envies her groom’s love for flying. I find humor in the little things and will laugh until my belly hurts. I am stubborn, I cuss worst than a sailor. I am too outspoken, I drink, I have tattoos, I drive a fancy truck and I am addicted to chocolate. I love hard and trust too easy. However, I can build a wall to protect my heart faster than an airplane taking off at 130 knots. The life motto that I have, and will, always live by is, “On a wing and a prayer.” My life, my family, and all its beautiful chaos, takes place in the beautiful Great Lakes State. You will find that my blog talks about all of the things I have passion for: life, marriage, kids, marketing, hobbies… you name it! I hope somewhere, there is a soul or two I can speak to. So, stick around and don’t forget to subscribe! Xo, Karen;


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